Don’t let it burn.

Oh blogspot, why do you call my name at every corner? I wish I could ignore you like the feelings that are seeping through the seems. If only there was something I could do to keep my mind off things like everyone else. Instead, I don’t. My mind is racing with thoughts that I wish would just go away. I wish… I wish… I wish…

I wish I could just go back to Montreat and everything be normal like it used to be.

I wish I started the new year better.

I wish I wasn’t here.

I wish Wes would actually be there.

I wish I that I actually had a good way of dealing with my feelings instead of ignoring them.

I wish I didn’t push people away only because I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to involve them in my pathetic life.

I wish I didn’t feel so inadequate.

I wish I didn’t have to buy things to make myself happy.

I wish I could drive instead of having a phobia.

I wish I had freedom that comes with driving.

I wish I wasn’t getting so fat.

I wish I had piercings: one on my cheek like Missy, two piercings on the left side of my lip, and industrial bars in both of my ears.

I wish I didn’t feel the need to impress everyone.

I wish I could just be me instead of pretending to be something I’m not.

I wish I actually liked people instead of finding a flaw in everyone.

I wish I had more then Wes to depend on.

I wish I didn’t feel the need to put everyone down just so I feel better.

I wish I could just ignore all of these feelings. Just put them in a vault so they could go away forever.

I wish, I wish, I wish.

I just want to feel adequate in my own skin so I could just LIVE MY LIFE.

Instead I sit here, overanalyze everything, and post blogs just to feel important.

 

I wish I could sleep forever.