Heller, how ya doing?
Man, college is a bitch sometimes. I seriously have no boredom time. Is that such a bad thing? For some, no. For me? Yes. Once in a while I just like being bored. Being bored means being relaxed. I have been stressed out the past couple of weeks. Mostly because of all the tests, midterms, papers, etc. I've been having to get done in a jiffy. You know, they say not to procrastinate but I'd like to know how they would handle getting 48 hrs. of work done in 24 hrs. Because, well, that's what it feels like for me. I have some bad news my two friends. (There's only two people who actually read this thing. That's IF they still follow it since I never write in it.) I believe I will not be in music anymore. I just can't handle it. Well, at least at Montreat. The one and only private voice teacher, Ms. McCoy, and she hates my guts. I'm just not cut out to take the criticism she dishes. She said she gave me a really hard piece to begin with (which it is) and it isn't for beginners. Then, she goes on ranting about how much I need to fix. Uhm, hello? I am a beginner? Plus, she likes to tell me I need friends and pick up the slack at school. No thank you unfriendly teacher, I'll move along at my own pace without you. Plus, the dedication you need for each one of those classes... I don't know if you know this but I am lazy. I'm not going to spend hours upon hours a day practicing 5 different pieces of music along with 5 different piano pieces. This is on top of my other, normal load of homework which consists more then likely of at least 5-6 page paper on something.
Oh the joys of college.
Don't get me wrong though. I like it there. I just signed up for the wrong classes. I mistaken my love for choir for the love of individual performance. No thank you. But, you learn from your mistakes my friends. That's what I'm doing. Learning.
I'll figure it out someday. I promise you.
Ms. McIntosh is the loveliest person you will ever meet. She literally has a heart of gold. I am heartbroken that I will not have her class any longer. Poor me...
I love my group of friends I'm starting to get grounded up there.
Selina is my little Indian princess. Ahah. She is HILARIOUS and she just gets me. We're always on the same page. I tell everyone that we share a brain. I got the slow part. I mean... "Can I get your number? Can I get it? Please? Can I get it?"
Lacy is my rock, my Oprah. I swear, if it wasn't for her, I'd be committed. Plus, she's just fun to hang out with. We have the typical "let's go shopping and have sleepovers" girl-friendship. Ah... my favorite kind.
Katy is just my laughing track. She laughs at me and laughs. Makes my days a little brighter. Plus, we're normally on the same grumpy schedule so we bitch with each other. Ahah.
Then there's Cayla who's a hoot, Elizabeth who's hotness, Kristen who's a flying squirrel, and whoever else wants to join.
I just wish there was more time in the day to hang out with these people instead of going to class.
Then there's my baby at home. Wesley Dearman.
He misses me all the time. Poor guy. Because of this we've been having problems but they're slowly getting worked out. I mean, I love the kid, what else can I say? I can't stay away from the sweetheart. We're mad for each other. He's the only one I keep in touch with now in Morganton. Which, is okay with me. As horrible as it is, I don't really have time for anyone else. It sucks but it's the truth. Wes just keeps me grounded and I need that. He keeps reminding me that I just need to keep being myself even when I'm out of my element. That's been depressing me lately but I believe I'm getting a handle on it. I'm also learning to just say, "fuck it." I can't be number one in everything. I love him.
So, I'm definitely getting the new experiences I yearned for and for the most part, I am happy.
Today, driving home, I realized what a beautiful day God has blessed us with. I literally sat there and thanked him for the sunshine and just the happiness he brought to me in that instance. I truly believe he was with me today and I am thankful. I wish I could feel that everyday and see him like I did.
"Standing on the rooftops, everyone scream your HEART OUT."
