First Blog.

Where were you when everything fell apart?


Well, first off, thank you Jamie for helping me establish my blog. I like my final product.
Unfortunately, I have something on my mind that's bothering me enough to write about.



I just want to know what he wants. What possesses him to text me? To talk about me like he misses me? To still think about me? I'm curious.
A part of me wants to continue talking to him to get the point. The answer to my questions.
Another part of me just wants him to go away. He's hurt me so much. Why should I give him another opportunity to do so? Why should I jeopardize a relationship that's so loving and fulfilling just for a few answers?
Curiosity killed the cat my friend. It's sure on it's way to getting me.

Where was he when I was shattered? When I was using drugs to fill the hole in my heart? When I had no one?
He was the one forcing me into a path I didn't want to go. He was the one passing me the joint. He was the one leaving me. He was the one changing who I am for forever. Leaving me with pieces to a soul that will never fit together again.

You know who was there to pick up those pieces? Do you know who took my heart and made it whole again? The kid who's laying on my couch sleeping all his worries away. The kid who finally helped me regain who I thought I could never be again. Wesley Dearman. He and Jamie made me realize that what he had to say was unimportant. He would've said it sooner if it even mattered. But even so, I'm not going to be there to listen to it. He can bother someone else because my life is fulfilled. What we had is in the past. That's it. It will no longer be my future or affect me because the only person possessing that power is Wesley. I'm glad for that. I truly believe that my heart is in good hands.

So, now I feel relieved. To know that I no longer need answers. I don't care. Do you hear that Josh Kay? I don't care.

I seriously could not ask for a better boyfriend or best friend.