I'm so tired of singing. I'm so tired of singing when all it does is break my heart.

Everyone's just always trying to "help" but all it does is break my heart. I'm so sick of it, I don't want to do it anymore. I'm never going to be good enough to do what I want. I'm never going to be able to do what they want me to do.

It's so hard to hear that you can't do something that's like, your soul.

I've always put up a wall when it comes to things so that if they hated me, they really didn't.

But this... this is me. This is my best... and it stinks.

Everyone wants to hear me sing. Everyone wants me to do better. I just want to give up.

I knew I wasn't going to get the solo. I knew it. But somehow, there was still hope in my heart.

Somehow that just slipped right in to be crushed.

It's so incredibly hard to lay yourself out there to be criticized.

I don't want to do it anymore. It's so bad that when Wes asks me to sing for him, I can't.

When I ride in the car and hear my favorite song, I can't.

I can't do it anymore. I've been broken down and I'm not the kind of person to build from that.

That's the last thing I'll do. I breakdown and quit.

I can't quit though. Everything I do in college, I have to sing. I CAN'T ANYMORE.

How can you tell me I'm not good enough but still expect me to do it?

Then, everyone else tells me I'm so good. STOP LYING. I already hear the truth.

You know, there's girls who go up there and completely suck yet nothing is said to them but when I go up, here's a whole rant about what YOU did wrong. I'm tired of it.

I just want everyone to shut up. I just want to do something that everyone thinks I'm good at. This definitely isn't it. DEFINITELY.

And then they have the gall to ask me why I praise Lacy and wish I could sing like her when I have such a "beautiful" voice. Come on...

Wes and my dad have been trying to help me for so long but there's only so much you can do without someone who's already given up on themselves.

I love them and thank them for what they've said but I'm just done...

And now I don't even want to go back to Montreat. DREADING going back to Montreat because I know I'm going to have to go through all of this.

Man, I woke up feeling depressed and this only made it worse.