Sour Girl

I am so scared to go back to school. I've had a complete week to myself, laying in bed, being waited on hand and foot. Don't get me wrong. It did come with a price. I felt horrible the entire time and couldn't be awake for any significant amount of time. When I was awake though, all I could think about is how much work is building up back at college. How am I ever going to catch up? I just got to the point where I had everything under control again. Not anymore. I just need to go back with my head up and a will that is strong. I just know there is going to be one teacher who will give me hell for not being there. (Sigh) We'll see...

You know, Wes and me have been fighting A LOT lately. More than normal. It's really getting to me. Because, when I'm around him, I just want him to stop. I can't be without him though. It's ridiculous. He left a couple of hours ago and even though he made most of my weekend miserable, I want him back. He's so cute when he sleeps. His lips pout out and his eyelashes stick together. (He has the most beautiful eyelashes too. Why were they wasted on a guy?) And he's just so at peace. The second he wakes up though, his face looks like he's in total torment. It gets to me. He tells me repeatedly how much I annoy him and whatnot. I'm wondering what's keeping him around. He hates me so much but for some reason he stays. We're having the same problems I've had with Reece. I'm just a TERRIBLE girlfriend. But at the moment of doing these "wretched" thing, I don't see it. I don't get what I'm doing so horrible wrong. I just don't know anymore. Now I'm going to have to go back to arguments on the phone which are so much more worse then arguments in person. (Sigh again)

And I feel like I'm getting sick again. I think I got what my brother's girlfriend has. It's killing me because I was JUST feeling healthy again. :(

I can't win.

Today isn't my day and I have a feeling this week isn't going to be any good either.

I just hope God's on my side and keeps me strong through all the nonsense.